CXM Home





Latest StripArchivesForumsExtrasLinksAbout Us



2001-01-01
Game Review: Oni
My first videogame review for CXM. What else did you think I was going to do with this space, monkey? (not this "space monkey)

Check the archives for more columns.

| E-mail |


Game Review: Oni  

Whaddup?


I'm the one called Tony. I'm the CXM resident slacker. Jason is the artist. Kai spends hours working on the page and coloring strips. Dan writes funny news posts. I own the room we often work in. Well, actually, my parents own the room. So I really don't do so much. Some times I say/do funny things that inspire strips. Other times I'll write game reviews, like this one:

Ok, the demo that I have been putting a lot of time into recently is Oni. Please tell me you've heard of Oni. Oni is the latest creation of Bungie. You know, the guys that made Marathon, and Myth (not Myst you monkey), and will someday make Halo. Them. I heard about Oni in high school and assumed then that is was just far too cool a concept to be fully realized. Well, as far as I can tell from the demo, the game is gonna rock.

We're not going talk about the anime cut scenes, or the level design by actual architects, or even the gazillion or so animated sequences the main characters model is capable of; those are things that make it pretty to play. Lets talk about the parts that make it fun to play.

Beating thugs up. You do a lot of this. In most games this would be kinda boring. Enter group of rooms, eliminate thug presence, find key/switch, go to new set of rooms. That's pretty much how the gameplay works for the first level. You would think it monotonous, but its not. Its damn fun beating the crap out of thugs. They give you a gun to shoot them with, but I quickly abandoned it in favor of the much more enjoyable unleashing mad ninja skillz. (Alternatively, empty your gun into a wall and then run around pistol whipping people with it.) Its just awesome. You can yell a taunt and then leap off a ledge, front flip and land on the enemy's head. You can throw thugs, into other thugs if you're lucky. You can disarm gun-totting baddies, you can slide and knock their legs out from under them, you can ... download the demo already!

Seriously, its not the amazing graphics or the other glitter that makes Oni a good game, its the fact that its a lot of fun to play. The controls are fairly simple, the animations flow smoothly together during fight scenes. This being my first review and not having anything to compare it too, I'll give it a meaningless 9.6 out of 10. I'm not giving it a full ten, because that'd be silly to do for my first review, and you have to admit that the "puzzles" are rather repetitive.

Conclusion: Download it, now! Even if you're on dial up! Now! Stop reading and do it! [Don't stop reading if you haven't already read all the strips yet and fallen in love with our site. -Ed.] I should update with a review of the new Hitman demo and/or Monkey Island 4 on Wednesday.



All text and images 2000 by Jason, Kai, Dan, Tony, and Mecha Gaijin. He WILL kick your ass. Instant superfine!
All characters are ™ & © their respective owners. All Rights Reserved. Some Comics Ex Machina (CXM) strips are satirical in nature, and are not intended maliciously. CXM has invented all names and situations in its strips, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody. CXM makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceding information.